Stalking

Learn about the different forms of stalking and how it impacts victims.

What is stalking?

Stalking is a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear or emotional distress.

Context is key

Stalking is a unique crime in that it involves actions that may seem insignificant or flattering to people who are not involved in the situation, but the actions are actually terrifying when you know the context of the situation. Victims of stalking often have to explain to others why something scares, upsets, or worries them. For example, receiving a text message from an unknown number that says, “Have a great first day at work!” may seem friendly to most. But to a stalking victim who has recently relocated to a new city, gotten a new job, and changed their phone number to escape their abusive ex-partner, it can be terrifying. To a victim of stalking, that message could mean their ex-partner has found their new location and is somehow monitoring their actions. This is why context is key when it comes to stalking.

Most stalking victims are stalked by someone they know, with about 40% being by a current or former intimate partner, and about 42% by an acquaintance.1 Many stalkers combine criminal acts (property damage, trespassing) with legal behaviors (sending gifts or texts). Otherwise legal acts can become criminal when part of a stalking case.

View our State Laws: Stalking page for legal information on stalking.

What do stalkers do?

Surveillance is the most commonly identified stalking tactic and includes watching and gathering information about the victim. Has the offender:

  • Followed or watched you?
  • Shown up unexpectedly?
  • Gone through your mail or trash?
  • Sought information about you from friends, family, or others?
  • Communicated with you in ways that seem obsessive or make you concerned for your safety?
  • Accessed your accounts, like your social media or online finances?
  • Planted a camera, GPS tracker, or other device in your vehicle or in your home?
  • Used a tracking software on your phone, tablet, or computer?
  • Monitored your activity online?

Life invasion is when the offender is showing up in the your life without your consent. This may include excessive contact, showing up, spreading rumors, and/or sending gifts. Has the offender:

  • Repeatedly initiated unwanted contact with you (for example, repeated phone calls, texts, messages, emails)?
  • Sent you gifts or left objects for you to find?
  • Tried to initiate contact with you through third parties?
  • Spread rumors about you?
  • Humiliated—or tried to humiliate—you in public?
  • Impersonated you online?
  • Hacked into your accounts?
  • Harassed your friends, family members, or another third party?
  • Sent photos of themselves or of you in locations that you frequent?
  • Invaded your property, such as letting themselves into your home or vehicle?
  • Shown up at places you frequent, like your school, work, gym, child’s daycare, or grocery store?

Remember that context is key when it comes to stalking. There are many behaviors that could be intimidating when considering the context of the stalking behaviors and with the victim and offender’s relationship and history in mind. Has the offender:

  • Threatened you explicitly or implicitly, in-person or online?
  • Threatened your friends, family, pets, or others that you care about?
  • Threatened to destroy property, harm pets, or sabotage you in other ways?
  • Blackmailed you?
  • Threatened to share or post private information about you unless you perform sexual acts?
  • Engaged in symbolic violence (like a crushed soda can or burnt doll) that you perceived as a threat?
  • Threatened to or actually harmed themselves?
  • Done anything that has intimidated, frightened, or alarmed you?

A stalker may interfere in your life in many ways, affecting everything from your reputation to your employment to your physical safety. A common and significant consequence of stalking is victims losing financial or other resources, which can quickly spiral. Has the offender:

  • Significantly and directly interfered with your life?
  • Damaged your property or stolen from you?
  • Disrupted your professional and/or social life?
  • Caused you to have a serious accident?
  • Meddled in online accounts (social media, finances, etc.)?
  • Posed as you and created harm?
  • Forcibly kept you from leaving or held you against your will?
  • Assaulted you while stalking, harassing, or threatening you?
  • Assaulted your friends, family, or pets, or seriously attacked you in other ways?
  • Shared private photos or information about you with others or online?

If you’re experiencing stalking, you may feel:

  • Vulnerable or unsafe at home, work, or school
  • Nervous about checking your phone or email
  • Scared or anxious about what might happen next
  • Confused, frustrated, or isolated because other people don’t understand why you’re afraid
  • Like you’re always looking over your shoulder

Document every incident

If you’re experiencing stalking, it is essential to keep a documentation log of everything that happens. Keeping track of stalking incidents can help you show what’s been happening if you decide to apply for a protection order, deal with family court issues, or make a report to law enforcement. If you plan to make a report, a stalking incident log can also help you remember individual incidents later.

Keep evidence of stalking, like e-mails, texts, voicemails, letters, notes, or screenshots. Photograph anything the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw, and request copies of any police reports.

Find help

Stalking often escalates over time, and the most dangerous time for a victim tends to be when they distance themselves from the stalker. If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking, visit our Find Help page to find support near you.

Stalking information provided by the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC). Learn more at www.stalkingawareness.org

  1. Smith, S.G., Basile, K.C., & Kresnow, M. (2022). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2016/2017 Report on Stalking. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

More on stalking

Supporting Someone Experiencing Abuse

Find ways to support a loved one who has experienced abuse.

State Laws: Stalking

View legal information relating to stalking.

Awareness

Take the first step towards change by raising awareness for domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking in your community.

Thousands of North Dakotans experience domestic and sexual violence each year. But together, we can change that. By giving to NDDSVC, you’re helping us prevent future violence and providing life-saving resources to North Dakota communities.

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Find Help

If you are in an unsafe or abusive situation, there are 18 domestic violence/sexual assault (DV/SA) victim advocacy centers across North Dakota that can help you navigate your options and stay safe. Each center is staffed with professionals who can help you with safety planning, finding shelter, obtaining a protection order, and more.

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NDDSVC does not provide direct services to victims and survivors.
Contact a DV/SA advocacy center near you if you are looking for support. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.