Sharron Brady once had to find a safe house for horses.
As the Project Director of Kedish House in Ellendale, part of her job was to help safe house victims of domestic violence. And oftentimes, as many domestic violence victim advocates will tell you, pets are also abused in homes where there is domestic violence.
Sharron recalled many times where she found safe housing arrangements for victims and their families, including pets like dogs, cats, birds, fish, and yes, horses. When necessary, she even safely housed victims and survivors in her own home.
“There was a lot less money back then,” she said, referring to the amount of funding Kedish House once had. “I used to safe house people at my house because it was some place to put them when we didn’t have money to put them in a motel or anything.”
In the case of the horses, Sharron said that other arrangements were made with a friend of the victim to keep them safe.
“I never did have to actually do that,” she said, referring to getting the horses to a safe home. “But I did find a place for them.”
Now, after 37 years with the organization, Sharron is retiring from Kedish House. The former director said that she’s proud of how the organization has evolved from being thought of as “this scary place that breaks up families” to one that is recognized and supported by its community.
When she first began working at Kedish House, Sharron didn’t know much about domestic violence or sexual assault. She had previously been working for a lawyer who helped with Kedish House’s tax work and nonprofit status paperwork. The founding director of Kedish House, Sandi Lanes, would stop by the lawyer’s office often and would talk with Sharron about the work that she was starting.
Sharron kept in touch with Sandi, and later, when Sharron was attending Northern State University in Aberdeen, SD, she found out through one of her classes that she could work at Kedish House while earning college credit. She quickly became heavily involved with the organization, and after about a year of working with Sandi, Sharron became the director of Kedish House.
She said that a lot has changed since then, primarily the public’s perception of domestic and sexual violence.
“Domestic violence back then was something that was very hidden. [It] wasn’t talked about or anything,” she said. “When I first started, if I went to do a booth at an event or something, I finally discovered I had to offer some prizes to get anybody to even come up to my booth and talk to me or anything…I think they just felt that if anybody saw them come over to the booth, that meant they were talking to me about something they shouldn’t be.”
She said that now, through training and public education, awareness around domestic and sexual violence has certainly improved.
“It is seldom I do a presentation that someone doesn’t come up to me and relate about a person they know who has experienced domestic violence,” she said.
Sharron recalled one of those presentations as a time she will never forget.
She was cleaning up her things after a presentation when a man approached her and said, “I really want to thank you for doing what you’re doing. I think if there were services like this that would have been available when my sister was being abused, that she’d still be alive.”
“And I can remember being very, very shocked when he told me that,” Sharron said. “I said, ‘Well, I just really am sorry that, you know, there wasn’t something back then that could have helped her.’”
She said that things have gotten better over the years due to more education and abuse being talked about in the media. She explained that now, there are very few people in her community who haven’t heard of Kedish House and the work that they do.
And education and awareness aren’t the only things that have gotten better over the years. Sharron said one of the things that she is most proud of is how far Kedish House itself has come from its origins. When the organization first started, it was a lone desk in a corner of a church.
“It was a big old wooden desk with no storage space in it,” Sharron said with a laugh.
She said that Kedish House wasn’t able to find a building that it could afford for many years, but they were able to rent and eventually buy the building that they are currently in after some time.
“When we bought the building, and we had an actual home…I was pretty proud of that,” she said.
But Sharron hasn’t forgotten an important piece of Kedish House’s history.
“I still use that desk,” she said, referring to what was once the only marking of Kedish House’s existence.
While she has seen progress in many areas over the years, she does still have some concerns about the movement against domestic and sexual violence. She noted that working alongside the criminal justice system has been challenging at times.
“More recently, with some of the court decisions I see, or judges not signing restraining orders or protection orders and other things on the news, it feels like we are going backwards in the justice system at times,” she said. “It is discouraging to victims to leave a bad situation after they have finally been able to make that decision, only to find there is not a protection order to help them feel more safe.”
Sharron also said that advancements in technology have made navigating abusive situations more complex. GPS trackers and other monitoring devices were once things that she never would have thought of, she said. She said at times it can feel like just as one problem is solved, another arises, but Sharron is still hopeful about facing new challenges.
“We’re going to deal with all those things just like we have in the past with some of the things that we’ve dealt with and made better,” she said.
Sharron’s work was supported by many people and organizations, both in her community and across North Dakota.
She said she admires her community partners, particularly law enforcement and medical professionals, who are responding to crisis situations every day. She said that she depended on them many times, and the work they do is not easy.
She said churches, local businesses, and community members are a big help to Kedish House. They have volunteered, attended events, and donated food, money, and furniture in order to help Kedish House help victims.
Sharron cited Bonnie Palacek and Myrt Armstrong as strong advocates for women and leaders in her work.
Bonnie Palecek was the founding director of the North Dakota Council on Abused Women’s Services, now known as CAWS North Dakota. CAWS North Dakota is the state coalition working to end domestic and sexual violence. The coalition supports 19 domestic violence/sexual assault victim advocacy centers across the state, including Kedish House.
Myrt Armstrong worked as the Executive Director of the Mental Health Association of North Dakota for many years.
Both women dedicated much of their lives to advocating for those who are most vulnerable in society. They supported victim advocates, wrote and lobbied for legislation, and raised money to help those in need. Their leadership empowered many others, including Sharron, to do the same.
“Those two women were my guiding lights to follow,” she said.
Sharron estimates that she helped about 3,700 people during her time with Kedish House, a number she said she was shocked with once she thought about it. She said that helping people go on to hopefully live a better life always made her feel good, but it wasn’t always easy.
“It takes courage to be involved in some of the things I’ve witnessed. Sometimes I’ve been in danger and have been threatened myself and sought restraining orders,” she said.
Despite this, her core message to new advocates is to not give up or get discouraged.
“Life can take some very strange curves sometimes and you can feel that a situation is impossible to help, but there is always that hope that I’ve somehow, in some small way, assisted that victim and their kids to have a better life,” she said.
Sharron said that sometimes we help people without even knowing that we’ve helped them. Abuse can go on for several generations if help is not received, she said, and helping a family escape violence can lead the children to grow up to be in healthy relationships instead of abusive ones.
She said that for new advocates, there are going to be discouraging things that happen along the way, but she wants them to know that the joy and happiness she has seen through her work has made it worth it.
“Those sleepless nights and all the stress is worth it when I see smiles where once there was only tears,” she said.
[BISMARCK, N.D.] — Each year, CAWS North Dakota, the state coalition working to end domestic and sexual violence, gathers data from 19 victim advocacy centers across the state to put together annual fact sheets that give a snapshot of how many victims of domestic violence and sexual assault are reaching out for help and what kinds of violence they are facing.
The latest fact sheets show that 6,131 victims of domestic violence and 1,288 victims of sexual assault were served by advocacy centers in 2023.
CAWS North Dakota says that domestic and sexual violence can happen to anyone, but women and girls are most commonly victimized. Of the domestic violence victims served in 2023, 83% were women. In cases of sexual assault in 2023, at least 1,042 of the 1,288 victims served were women.
People with disabilities in North Dakota were also highly impacted. In 2023, 18% of the domestic violence victims served were people with disabilities. Of the sexual assault victims served, nearly one third, 31%, were people with disabilities.
While the annual data does give insight into how many people are reaching out for help, CAWS North Dakota says that it doesn’t represent the full scope of the problem.
“7,419 total victims served in 2023 is a shocking reminder of how prevalent domestic violence and sexual assault are in our communities,” said Seth O’Neill, CAWS North Dakota’s Executive Director. “That’s around the size of the entire population of Devils Lake, and it’s just the start of the problem.”
The number of victims served in 2023 is only a fraction of the people experiencing violence they say, as many cases go unreported, not every victim reaches out for support, and some may get help from sources other than DV/SA advocacy centers.
Nonetheless, CAWS North Dakota says that advocacy centers work tirelessly to provide essential, life-saving services to victims who are looking for help. According to the 2023 fact sheet, over 20,000 services were provided by advocates to victims of sexual assault from January to December. Domestic violence advocates provided victim assistance with 431 emergency protection orders in 2023.
The coalition says that if you or someone you know has experienced domestic or sexual violence, free and confidential help is available 24/7 in North Dakota. Those seeking help can find an advocacy center near them by visiting the Find Help page on CAWS North Dakota’s website.
View the 2023 Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault fact sheets
CAWS North Dakota is North Dakota’s state domestic violence and sexual assault coalition. They support and present a unified voice for 19 victim advocacy centers across North Dakota. From training and educational materials to public awareness and legislative policy change, CAWS North Dakota works to provide communities with the best information in order to end domestic and sexual violence and prevent future violence from occurring.
We are very excited to announce the appointment of Seth O’Neill as our new Executive Director! Seth officially assumed his role as Executive Director on January 2nd, 2024.
Seth previously worked for CAWS North Dakota as our Civil Legal Attorney in 2021 and 2022, and he contracted as a lobbyist for the coalition during the 68th Legislative Assembly. Seth’s work as a lobbyist helped the coalition pass laws relating to stalking, domestic violence intervention programming, and increased state funding.
Seth holds a bachelor’s degree in Social Work from Minnesota State University Moorhead, a master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Minnesota Duluth, and he earned his law degree with a certification in Indian and Tribal Law from the University of North Dakota.
Most recently, Seth taught and advised social work students as an Assistant Professor of Social Work and the Director of Social Work Field Education at the University of Mary. In addition to his past work with CAWS North Dakota, Seth also previously worked as an Assistant Attorney General in Bismarck, ND and as a Child Protection Social Worker in White Earth, MN. His work included collaborating with social workers, representing state agencies in legal matters, and case management.
“We are thrilled to welcome Seth back to the CAWS team in this new role,” said Melandie Deplazes, CAWS North Dakota Board President. “Seth’s past legal and legislative work for the coalition and strong background in social work and law made him a natural fit for the Executive Director position. We are confident that with his skills and experience, he will be able to hit the ground running and continue the important work of the coalition.”
Seth is originally from Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, and now resides in Bismarck with his wife, Jayla. In his spare time, he enjoys reading, traveling, and spending time on the water.
“I am both honored and excited to be back with CAWS North Dakota as the new Executive Director,” Seth said. “I am committed to serving all individual’s affected by domestic and sexual violence and working towards a future where all individuals and families are safe, healthy, and thriving.”
CAWS North Dakota is a North Dakota’s statewide domestic violence and sexual assault coalition. They support and present a unified voice for 19 domestic violence and sexual assault advocacy centers across North Dakota. From training and educational materials to public awareness and legislative policy change, CAWS North Dakota works to provide North Dakota communities with the best information to better support victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.
From January to September 2023, Global Rights for Women conducted a needs assessment on North Dakota’s response to domestic violence on behalf of CAWS North Dakota. Under the guidance of CAWS ND and the project Planning Committee, Global Rights for Women interviewed survivors and advocates to identify survivors’ needs and assess systems’ responses.
In total, 27 survivors and 32 advocates shared their insights.
Domestic violence service providers (i.e. advocates) in the state were overwhelmingly identified as lifelines for finding safety and rebuilding lives.
At the same time, significant gaps in resources, staffing, and competency of some involved in the response to domestic violence exacerbate the challenges survivors face.
Click to read the full report or two-page summary below. We hope the voices of survivors and advocates shared in this needs assessment can facilitate meaningful action toward increased accountability for domestic violence offenders and success in reaching and liberating more survivors.
Donate Now
Thousands of North Dakotans experience domestic and sexual violence each year. But together, we can change that. By giving to NDDSVC, you’re helping us prevent future violence and providing life-saving resources to North Dakota communities.
Find Help
If you are in an unsafe or abusive situation, there are 19 domestic violence/sexual assault (DV/SA) victim advocacy centers across North Dakota that can help you navigate your options and stay safe. Each center is staffed with professionals who can help you with safety planning, finding shelter, obtaining a protection order, and more.
Stay Connected Sign up for our newsletter to receive news and updates on our latest advocacy efforts.
NDDSVC does not provide direct services to victims and survivors.
Contact a DV/SA advocacy center near you if you are looking for support. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
